Adventures in Self-Indulgence

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Adventures in Self-Indulgence

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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	2008.08.24 10.58 Bliss I am so, so happy. My friends' burlesque night launched last night and it was a great success. You know when you expect to love something, but also know you're not really objective, and then you sort of step back and see it through a stranger's eyes and think, fuck me, this really is brilliant! And you're so surprised and excited and happy because all your expectations have been surpassed? Well, that was my reaction for every single one of my friends who performed at this event last night. I was so amazed and amused and impressed with them, and I feel so proud and in love with them all today. They put together something really amazing and everyone loved them - but no one more than me (so back off, bitches, I said she's mine!) I have no doubt that if they want it, great things are there for them, and I feel very excited about their futures and the (miniscule) role I have played so far and hope to continue with.



	2008.08.19 18.27 Cool stuff Good post today: US ballot (not the big one, but nice to know I am registered), payment for some cabaret tickets, and about a brazillian hotfix crystals to use with my new Bejeweller (Oh yes, everything in my house to be covered in sparkles from now on...) Also, finished my last book festival workshop. Now I can relax a little (cabaret notwithstanding). For some reason I have been inadvertantly and uncharacteristically successful at networking this year and have met some very interesting people from a variety of agencies, several of whom have, without prompting, expressed an interest in working with me. Which is really lovely. I will save the excitement til I have concrete offers, but even if only one or two things come through, that would be fantastic. I always find getting that foot in the door initially is the tricky bit. Spent the morning at a workshop of traditional Mexican storytelling and crafts. The storyteller was, hands down, the best I have ever seen. And the Mexican artist who was running the workshop is so inspiring - a lovely warm, calm, dignified presence and she does the most amazing things with paper I have ever seen. I have been a huge fan of traditional Mexican art for some time but actually seeing it being created is another thing altogether. I am also amazed by her generosity - at all her children's workshops she has presented every participant with gifts, usually handmade. Today all the parents were given beautiful handmade paper rosebuds, all the children were given little bags with a selection of Mexican sweets - many of which Adriana had covered with bright coloured tissue and silver decorations herself - and miniature Mexican pottery, plus all sorts of paper sculptures as "prizes" for answering questions, plus several of the children received finger puppets from the storyteller. And as she gave the children these gifts, Adriana welled up slightly as she tried to explain, in her slightly limited English, that in Mexico people love to make things with their hands, and to give things with their hearts, and it was obvious that all of the Mexican people participating in these events were very much giving of themselves. And it was really, really lovely, and I am thrilled that I was allowed to join in.



	2008.08.18 12.54 Fun fact Susan George at Book Festival this morning, speaking on the long term implications of Bush Jr's presidency and the extreme rightward swing of the US. Would have got a lot more out of it, no doubt, if I knew a hell of a lot more about economics and politics, but still interesting. Lots of frankly shocking figures being bandied about, one of which was this: Once you have a billion USD, you have to spend roughly 136,000 USD per day in terms of pure consumption to not be making money.



	2008.08.12 11.03 Gypsy's Tramps & Thieves I sometimes forget that Facebook and LJ are not, in fact, completely interchangeable. So for those of you who are not on FB (or whom I don't know are on FB so didn't get an invite!), here's the deal. I am, along with harlequinrobot, in the throes of organising my first ever public event. I found out Gypsy Charms was leaving Edinburgh about the same time I found out OOTB was suddenly available throughout August, so it seemed only natural to try my hand at events organisation by hosting a cabaret-style farewell for my beloved teacher. Although it is very much a themed night (with the theme being how amazing Gypsy is!) ity is also open to the public and is a damn good chance to see some of Scotland's top burlesque and cabaret performers. Because it's for Gypsy, everyone is kindly doing it for free and we are simply looking to cover our costs (anything we make over and above that will be donated to Gypsy's leaving fund) - which means that it's a rare chance to see 10-12 quality acts for a fiver (or a bit less if you book in advance)! Full details are here and it's shaping up to be a good night, so please come along and see some pretty people get pretty near naked and see what an amazing influence this woman has had on the burgeoning burlesque scene in Scotland. And feel free to forward this on to anyone you think might be interested (although we're asking for everyone's co-operation in keeping the theme secret from Gypsy herself, who has kindly agreed to perform at what she thinks is a plain old cabaret night).



	2008.08.10 17.52 Balance Yesterday was one hell of a day. I had my first Book Festival workshop. This is my third year and it's really lovely going back - I'm recognising more and more faces and starting to really settle in and enjoy catching up with these colleagues I only see once a year. Also, free beetroot tarts for authors. Yumminess (with added amusement in the form of a hastily written sign stating they were beetroot and not jam. I guess authors are not that observant after all). Also was one hell of a networking day, with leads on a couple of jobs which, should they pan out, would be truly amazing. But more details of that if there should ever be any. I have learned (sort of) not to get my hopes up. And an evening out with friends at High tease. harlequinrobot was sadly absent which was the only obvious niggle with an otherwise fabulous evening. great acts, good company, and lots of cuddles from lovely people. Rolled in tired, excited and happy. Started today with my usual volunteer job, then straight on to see Julian Barnes, who was very good and whose brother, it seems, is Anthony. Hung around the author's tent for a couple of hours reading, chatting, nibbling and enjoying the sunshine filtering through the roof, then my second workshop. I am now halfway through. Home again for tea and a bit of a chill. Andandand! Just turned on the telly and Princess Bride is on, finishing just as I should be heading off to see the divine (smirk) Richard Holloway tonight (swoon). Currently snuggled under a blanket with Wesley (swoon again), Buttercup, ice water and cats, feeling utterly blissed. And AB is back tomorrow.



	2008.08.09 10.39 Saturday 9th August 2008 has failed to impress me so far. AB is en route to Amsterdam on a cruise for his parents' anniversary whilst I am stuck behind due to work commitments. However he has failed to make any contact since leaving the house yesterday morning (I expected a perfunctory "I'm here" call or email, but none was forthcoming. A bunch of my friends are going to High Tease tonight. I've been so busy this week that hadn't got round to organising tickets so was pleased to see I can do so through the website. Except that, so far, I have been in a virtual queue for appropximately 1 hour and 45 minutes. And I don't know if I want to go that bad, although if I give up, I expect I will be feeling sorry for myself tonight when I am sat at home in my pjs with nowt but my cats for company. And when I tried to ring my mum for a chat she was too busy to talk. And it's raining. Charlotte Square gardens is going to be an uninviting swamp and it's going to take forever to get between the author's tent and the workshop tent because everyone will be sticking to the walkways for fear of disappearing into the mud. Bah.



	2008.08.01 09.53 Bad neighbours ( Read more... ) So this is one of the reasons why I am not very happy, nor very awake, nor very good company lately. Which is in turn partly why I haven't been posting much. Too busy just trying to keep my head down and put up with Life.



	2008.07.24 14.25 Hair loss So it's a pretty rubbish p[cture as I used the "camera turned backwards held at arm;s lenght" method, but this is a snapshot of the new hair: Best thing is that I relaly liked the hairdresser and felt the price was, in relative terms, extremely reasonable. I'm a happy girl.



	2008.07.23 16.15 Been so long since I did a proper update and so busy that I don't really know where to start, and it's one of those times where the longer I leave it, the greater my dilemma. So I may as well just post something. First off, some Very Bad News. My teacher, friend, muse, mentor and object of my obsession, Gypsy Charms, has been lured away from Edinburgh by a job offer so good that she simply can't afford to pass it up. I wish her every possible success (and then some) and what she is going to be doing is very much for the greater good of the UK burlesque community, but I am feeling a wee bit bereft. Her partner, Viva Misadventure is going to be taking over the teaching side in Scotland and I love Viva, but Gypsy is a force of nature and I am at a complete loss for the words to describe how sad I will be to see her go. So, with that out of the way, some good things: I am losing my hair. I know that doesn't sound like a good thing, but actually it is just my own deliberately misleading code for "I'm getting a haircut". See what I did there? Very witty. In the last year I think I have maybe had one haircut, and that was self-administered, so this is long overdue. I'm going to, like, a proper salon and everything! This is a little celebration for myself in honour of the fact that I actually am getting paid for work over the summer. Yay! July work has been....interesting, to say the least. Will probably do a more detailed post about it at some point but suffice to say that one week was very difficult, the other was an absolute dream, that the community centre staff who supported me were at least as wonderful as the woman who hired me was clueless (which, believe me, is saying something) and that the joy of what I do is that no matter how bad the situation is, there are always rewards to be had. Also, just for reference, running workshops is not just a case of pouring paint and passing out scissors. Just in case you are ever in a position to hire someone to run workshops, please bear that in mind. And it sounds like the heavy work has finally stopped on the house next door amd it is blissfully, unexpectedly quiet this afternoon. I am also unreasonably amused that the conversion has involved raising the level of the steps by a few feet whilst the position of the door has not changed, so at the moment it appears as though the house had been customised to suit a midget. Also I have come up with possibly the Best Burlesque Name Evar for a male friend who has recently started performing. Sir Lance o'Lust! (who will probably be performing with his Ladies of the Knight). Yes, I am cool. Touch me, like I'm Jesus and you are a leper. Oh yeah.



	2008.07.21 14.16 First sunny day in ages, a pleasant (and paid!) week ahead, and a gorgeous afternoon stretching before me. WOuld love to install myself in the courtyard with some sunbathing cats and a good book but builders next door mean noise + dust + lack of privacy + giant holes all over the courtyard = not so good for sitting out. But it's so nice that I hardly even resent this invasion today. Instead I will be making the most of my blissful mood by giving my studio a much-needed clean and prepping materials for tomorrow's workshops. Then, if there is time before my fan-dancing workshop tonight, a flop on my chaise with a book and a cat.



	2008.07.18 12.08 Tents? So further to my previous post, anyone have a tent sleeping at least 3 that I could borrow next weekend?



	2008.07.18 09.49 New friends Man, I have the best friends. Have been spending very large chunks of time hanging out with this group of people I met in/through last term's burlesque classes, and I am loving them. Here's why. Last night alone: -Two of them volunteered (at just over a week's notice no less) to spend all next weekend camping and helping me to run my stall at the Big Tent festival. Changing it in one go from a "working" weekend to a fun social event with my friends. -I have been asked to help design a wedding ensemble for one of the girls -I myself received marriage proposals from the above bride, her fiance, and a gay man. This was entirely related to the pie I had brought. It also caused one of the other folk there to lick someone else's plate, which was a new one on me. They liked the pie. -I was given a DVD od the Panoption performance night two weeks ago. -Too many hugs to count. -Too much fawning over me to count (After 32 years I am finally receiving something resembling enough validation. Yes, I am needy) -Yummy home-made lasagna and bowls of garlic bread alongside. -A proposal to perform as part of a seriously amazing burlesque routine* -A hostess so warm, so welcoming and so thoroughly lovely that her house immediately feels like a second home -Hours spent in a parked car putting the world to rights with harlequinrobot -Sneak previews of two new burlesque acts What more could a pusscat want?! *This is a big one. The woman who has had the idea is amazing. She's funny, she's sexy, she's a fabulous dancer and a brilliant choreographer. She's going to be a big burlesque star at least in Scotland and this act is going to be her showpiece. However it would involve not just some nudity on my part, but being nude next to some incredibly stunning (and petite) women. And performing for something like 90 seconds as a solo dancer. She would choreograph it so I'd just have to learn the moves, and I could do that, but I'm seriously not entirely sure how I feel and whether I could do the onstage nudity thing, especially next to the other folk who would be doing it.



	2008.07.09 08.16 Uneasy Last time I spoke to my parents was on Sunday. Now, I know that's not so very long ago, but we are in the habit of speaking most days and my mother (particularly if we don't speak) tends to send an email just to check in. What's more, I have tried ringing first thing in the morning for the last two days and had no answer, which is very strange. I am beginning to get very concerned despite reassuring myself that if anything had actually happened to them I'd have heard by now (they live in a small village and have a lot of contact with their neighbours so I reckon people would check up if they went missing). Still not liking this though.



	2008.07.07 09.10 Well, I believe the fog has finally lifted. This is thanks in no small part to a new non-lj friend who seemed to figure out what was going on and coerce me into attending social events where I might otherwise have stayed at home moping. She did it two days running and I seem to have been on an upswing ever since. And, frankly, I don't have time to be depressed for the next couple of months. I find depression is a disease of self-indulgence above all. Now, it may be chemically induced self indulgence with a solid clinical reason behind it, but it's self-indulgence nonetheless and I have always found that there is no better way to keep the wolves at bay than to be focussed on a project that keeps me very busy. So before the end of July I have one 5 day summer school, two three day summer schools, one two day summer school, one two day festival (where I will be both teaching and selling) one burlesque performance event (selling) and 4 x three hour long workshops on the history of burlesque where I will be both learning and selling. Plus two hours of bellydance lessons each week starts up at some point in there...And after all that is out of the way, then it is festival time. So I don't intend to be depressed for at least 8 weeks (and, obviously, hopefully much much longer). On this Monday morning I am happy that I can wake up at 8am and still have a leisurely 2 hours before I need to go out to work (venue doesn't even open til 10 and it's just down the road). I am happy that tonight I get to go to a three hour workshop on Victorian burlesque and see my friends and maybe even sell some stuff. I am happy that I get to work with children and families who are enthusiastic about art. I am happy that the 14 year old boy who is assisting me, who first came to the workshops just before his 10th birthday, is now applying for a space on an art and design course. I am happy that tomorrow night I have been invited to attend a dress rehearsal which will mean much hilarity and silliness. I am happy that on Thursday I get to go to another amazing bulesque performance night in Glasgow, see absent friends, hopefully sell more stock, and help raise money for a worthy cause. I am happy that I have the weekend off to spend with AB. I am happy that my bank account will be back on the right side of nought soon. I am happy to have friends that spot when I need help and do something about it. And most of all I am happy that I am happy again, it seems like it's been awhile.



	2008.07.01 21.33 Odd things So I seem to be in the process of emerging from a period of (for me) fairly intense depression. Not there yet but I think I have spotted the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, as long as I don't wander off down any tempting side paths... The last few days have brought some surprises, mostly trivial but entertaining nonetheless. 1. I applied for a full-time job today. Again, a very spur of the moment thing. I am not looking for full-time work and have no expectations of even getting an interview. But I came across this post whilst trying to research arts funding, and it sounds amazing and like it's vaguely in my realm of experience (little bit of a stretch, but I think I could do it) and the closing date was Thursday so it was kind of a case of no think, just do. So I did. Unlikely to hear anything more as no doubt they will have dozens of more qualified applicants, but feeling like I have done something productive is kind of cool. 2. This one is weird. Was checking my shop to see how many hits I'm getting. Always a bit depressing, but that's another story. Shopify tells me who my top referrers and apparently I have had one person click through from Rachel Brice's website. The reason this is weird is that I have no connection, either personally or professionally, to Rachel Brice whatever. But I totally love her. She is one of the world's sexiest and most talented women and the idea that there's any kind of link from her site to mine is just unduly exciting. No clue as to what that link might be however, various searches turn up no clues. 3. I made my first ever souffle, a spur of the moment project inspired by cairmen and this post. I am just contrary enough to see if I could do it myself, and I am pleased to say I did. Don't know when I would ever have got round to attempting a souffle and I daresay it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn good and nice to have one under my belt all the same. 4. My slow-cooked shoulder of mutton was truly, shockingly delicious. Had left it in the slow cooker overnight so had to reheat it for tea tonight but even mircrowaved it fell apart, was perfectly pink inside and juicy as you like. Ate it for tea with a sauce of cream, red wine, capers, dijon mustard and a little mutton stock and OMFG did it own. I'm not surprised that I cooked something nice, but this was sooooo nice. Maybe one of the best bits of meat I have ever done. 5. Got offered a surprise bit of extra work at the end of the month. Nice one. And even had the presence of mind to negotiate to be joined by my teen ~~slave labourer~~ assistant. So that's all good. And at the moment good feels surprising. 6. Have realised that for the next two months I am only working on two Saturdays. Can't remember the last time I had such a run of free weekends. And the bonus is that the midweek work I am doing should mean I still have something resembling an income.



	2008.07.01 09.46 Crazed Cancan Girl on Killing Spree in Capital Headline from 10 minutes after this photo was taken: Just kidding, it's actually me and harlequinrobot at Burlescapades. But I do think I look like I could snap at any moment. heyokish, are you seeing more and more why I love the photo you took? I so cannot pose.



	2008.06.30 10.14 Tales from the weekend So in many ways I had an awful weekend and one which, if my fragile state of mind last week was anything to go by, should have sent me directly to a darkened (and preferably padded) room to lie in the foetal position and rock gently for a few days. However, I have managed to survive more or less adequately and come to the realisation today that pretty much every single positive thing that happened to me this weekend was food-related. Sad but true. ( Clickety click for further details and bonus images )



	2008.06.16 09.43 *The Return of Really* Bad (Genuine) Children's Names** Brought to you by my former classmates. The list has now been topped by a later entry: Sterling Rage (I am sad to say I am not making this up). Whywhywhy would you name your child Rage? I'm not going to email this girl to find out but it will haunt me forever. Also, you will have to bear with me because I can't remember which names I have alsready posted and can't be arsed to go back and see. But I give you, in no particular order: Katilyn Bobbi Lynn Destiny Makayla Kaylei London Ariel Ashlyn Kamden Alizabeth Vance Keyni Addison Ivee Jayla Shannissy Brockden Dakota Keagen Griffin Bergyn Levi Kloie Cheyenne And a bonus spouse/partner name: Tredian



	2008.06.16 09.05 The Wonder of YouTube So I happened to search for "Kurt Lightner" who was the first guy I sort of half-assedly stalked because I was a fan (putting him in the illustrious company of Noel Fielding). He used to perform at the coffeehouse where I hung out and was funny and sweet and the oddest person I've ever met. And it didn't seem in any way a contrived wackiness, it was like he had just kept that childlike aspect of randomness that most people lose when they hit school. Anyway, I was thrilled to find three short videos of him just doing his thang. Better still, he was filmed busking so you get to see how he interacts with the bemused onlookers and how they aren't quite sure what to make of him...



	2008.06.10 14.14 Radio cafe broadcast So I've had my debut. The negative? Man, I really do have one bizarre accent. The comparisons to Lloyd Grossman are just all too apt. That aside, I was totally thrilled with the piece. I think Tom did a brilliant jobs, the workshops sounded fun and informative, the kids sounded keen, the parents were very positive, and I sounded much more articulate than I felt. I even got a little misty when one of the parents said that a large part of the value of the workshops was to do with my own manner. Bless. I love my job. And they even managed to plug both the venue and my website.



	2008.06.09 22.46 Radio Pusscat Tomorrow my workshops will be featured on Radio Cafe sometime between 13:15-14:00 on Radio Scotland. I'm am alternately excited and anxious about hearing it. So if you listen, be gentle with your comments! I've never been on the radio before...



	2008.06.09 14.03 Amusing snapshot from my weekend At Stafford Street Market on Saturday, I was facing the side of St. George's West church. They had a few pavement tables set up for their cafe and a couple of stalls selling Traidcraft gear and homemade preserves (I was also conveniently located a couple of stalls down from the cocktail bar, who were selling a limited range of gorgeous cocktails for the bargain price of £1 for non-alcoholic and £2.50 for the alcoholic ones, but that's a whole other post). Partway through the day this pleasant middle-aged man approached from the outdoor tables and asked me how I would describe the style of my accessories. I swithered a bit, saying that there are a few different collections in the range but that ultimately my biggest influence is burlesque style. He said he thought it looked quite burlesque and said he had noticed Edinburgh seemed to have quite a thriving burlesque scene and he found it really interesting. I asked what events he had been to (none so far) and encouraged him to come along to Kitsch and Caboodle at the end of the month for an introduction. He expressed regret that he's away then but said he would look out for the next one. After a few more moments of pleasant chitchat he revealed that he was the minister for St George's. I was quite taken aback and for a minute actually mentally panicked. What had I said? Was he messing with me? Had I tried to sell him nipple tassels? But no need to worry, he really was just an unusually free-thinking minister.



	2008.06.04 09.31 Random stuff (mostly good) Someday i should try to post an actual coherent entry rather than a collection of disconnected thoughts. But that's not how I roll. ( Read more... )



	2008.06.03 22.42 Poll #1198848 Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All Should I recklessly spend some of my hard-earned money on an off-peak trip to Tunisia to trek through the desert with Bedouins and practice my percussion? View Answers Yes 10 (100.0%)



	2008.05.29 18.38 They woz robbed Haven't posted any Eurovision commentary and won't do so in any detail now. UK entry better than usual - certainly a good strong song, if not my taste in music. A surprising number of acts which I actually liked for more than their novelty value. AB's comment: "Turkish Street Preachers" was very apt. And once again the votes went to an utterly boring, forgettable piece of rubbish. For my money, the French Jarvis should totally have won. It's one of the few Eurovision entries I have ever heard which I actively want to listen to again. Lots.

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